Giving your partner space after a fight
You’ve had a fight with your bf/gf. No matter what you say the fight gets worse and worst. He/she hangs up the phone on you. What do you do?
Let me tell you what you should NOT do. Call. Call. CALL!!! Or if he/she has left the room DO NOT FOLLOW!
I’ve been guilty of this and I’m sure most of you are guilty of it also. Sad to say but mostly girls do. I’m not saying boys don’t do it’s just that we women are more emotional and get infuriated when we are ignored. Now you might say
“He/she cut me off and I was saying something really important! How dare he/she ignore me”
The thing is when your partner hangs up the phone on you, leaves the room or simply says I need space; Respect that. Your partner abruptly ending an argument may leave you a but angry but more rejected. For women, I once read in “Men are from mars, Women are from Venus” that “Men are like rubber bands”. You see you all may argue, this would stretch the man out sometimes past his elastic point…but after some time and space he comes right back to you.
When you give your partner space he/she is allowed to think and breathe. They think about what was said in the argument, if what was said was hurtful or what to do next. This “space” is also time for self reflection for your partner. You must also consider that denying your partner his/her space is showing your partner how much you don’t respect him/her. The thing is in the heat of an argument it is very difficult to ignore when your partner leaves the argument, you see you are more concerned with getting your point out and that’s all well and fine. However, think about this if you give your partner space, when he/she is ready they you all could discuss the issues in a better manner than before.
Here are some things you can do when this situation arises:
1) Call a friend: a friend will more likely listen to your issues and help you deal with it (especially women). This is a good way to vent your frustrations and feel validated.
2) Occupy your time constructively. Remember when your partner is taking space, you also have time for yourself. Do NOT sit around and cry and mope wondering what your bf/gf is doing, DO something. Go out with your friends, watch television, cook etc.
3) Put your thoughts down on paper. I know it sounds silly but sometimes you can write better than you can talk. Write them a letter telling them how you feel.
So the next time you and your bf/gf get into a fight. Give them space it would benefit the both of you!